Please read this...This week – getting right to the point
<p class="p1">Sooooo, I thought to myself, I've actually used a couple of genuine tools without causing injury to myself, or anybody else, or damage to anything within arm's reach.</p><p class="p1">And I say tools only in the loosest sense of the word. I suppose a hand saw is actually a tool. A hand saw involves metal with sharp, pointy things on it. I believe the sharp, pointy things might be called teeth, for obvious reasons. </p><p class="p1">For your intrepid writer, metal with sharp, pointy things is a potentially deadly combination. It is generally better that I limit my use of such items. I'm pretty sure that at some time in my journey through life, I have somehow managed to inflict damage to my person while using a hand saw.</p><p class="p1">The other alleged tool was a tape measure. This particular tape measure also involved metal. Since it involved metal, and a potentially deadly edge to the tape in said measure, it would be possible for yours truly to somehow injure himself while utilizing said tool. However, I safely managed to use the tape measure to actually, well, measure several things. </p><p class="p1">The aforementioned measurement involved three pieces of wood – a scrap of plywood and a couple of pieces of one by ones. Or maybe they were two by twelves. I am not a carpenter, which is a good thing for everyone.</p><p class="p1">Somehow, I managed to safely cut the sheet of plywood, and the other two pieces of lumber, to the sizes that I needed. No harm done. So far.</p><p class="p1">I safely moved the lumber to where they needed to be in our humble abode. I was trying to create a spot for a cactus plant.</p><p class="p1">Your writer has a number of cactus plants. For some reason, I've been interested in cactus plants for many years. I think I like cactus plants because many of them have sharp, pointy things. They kind of match my personality.</p><p class="p1">Anyway, I got the lumber in place and proceeded to move the cactus plant to a new home. I picked up the plant and moved it from Point A to Point B. That, as it turned out, was not the wisest thing to do.</p><p class="p1">As I was moving the pointy plant, it began to sway a little bit. Not much, mind you. Just enough. </p><p class="p1">I set the plant down. At the moment I was setting the plant down, it had swayed away from me. When the plant had been fully placed, it had also swayed back toward me. More specifically, back toward my nose and lower lip.</p><p class="p1">I am here to tell you that having sharp, pointy cactus thingies stuck in your nose and lower lip is not a pleasant experience. The pointy thing in my lower lip removed itself when the cactus swayed back the other way. The pointy thing in my nose had to be manually removed.</p><p class="p1">Once the project had been completed, I pretty much sighed and licked my wounds, especially the one in my lower lip. I put the tape measure and hand saw back where they belonged. Without hurting myself.</p><p class="p1">But let this be a warning to any of you folks who have cactus plants. Keep a close eye on them. Just don't get too close.</p><p class="p2"> </p>