A bird...a swallow, we believe, in its nest......spotted what we thought was a Mayfly in the morning dews and damps on the first day of May. Wrong. It’s a crane fly. Or not....and a “B,” which was spotted near some dandelions...

The birds...a 'B'...and a bug...

Please read this...

Dear readers: Hi. How are you doing? Well, I hope. This week, we are going to have “the talk.” Yup. The birds. And the bees. Well, a “B.” And a bug, too.

First, I wanted to mention my crazy fantasy to do just like Forrest Gump did in the movie of the same name, at least in the sense of going for a walk. A really, really, really looooonnnnnnnggggggg walk. Doing something crazy during a crazy time doesn’t seem all that crazy.

If you have seen the movie, you might remember that Forrest Gump, he of “run, Forrest, run” fame, did indeed  embark on a rather long run.

As Mr. Gump shared in the movie: “For no particular reason I just kept on going. I ran clear to the ocean. And when I got there, I figured, since I’d gone this far, I might as well turn around, just keep on going. When I got to another ocean, I figured, since I’d gone this far, I might as well just turn back, keep right on going.”*

I’m not much of a runner. Bad knees. But, I do like to walk. Lately, I’ve been pondering doing a Forrest Gump impression. In slow motion. I’ll just keep walking until the current craziness is a long, distant memory.

With that in mind, I said something about my plan to The Other Half as I stepped off our front porch to go for a walk last Friday evening. I couldn’t remember exactly where Forrest Gump’s run took him. I figured the Oregon coast might be nice for me. Never been to Oregon. 

If I left Friday evening, and just kept walking, well, who knows how long it might take to get to the Pacific Ocean. Hopefully, somebody would offer me a box of chocolates along the way. 

The Other Half, of course, knew better. It was almost supper time. I’d be back. I’m guessing she probably remembered another rather famous line from “Forrest Gump”: “stupid is as stupid does.”

Truth be told, I might be a little better off to maybe just try getting to the coast at Grand Tower. Not as far as the Pacific Ocean, but there would still be lots of water and sand. Then again, I’m not sure that the banks of the Mississippi River would count as a coastline. 

By the way, if you haven’t seen “Forrest Gump” yet, I would encourage you to do so. CBS will be showing the movie Sunday night, May 10. Watch it with mom. Be sure to have a box of chocolates handy...just because that’s what life is like.

Now, about the birds and the “B” and the bug...

The birds were swallows I happened to see one day last week building a nest in a rather unusual place. There were two of them. A couple, I am assuming. They kept very busy, flying off to find building supplies, and then returning to work on their nest. It was fun to just watch them for a few minutes.

The bug was what we initially thought was a Mayfly. Seemed appropriate, since we saw it on the first day of May. Wrong. Turns out our bug was probably a crane fly. Guess I need to work on my bug identification skills.

Finally, there’s that “B.”

And it was a big “B.”

Found it while on my walk last Friday evening. Before I made it to Oregon. The big “B” appeared to have blown off a sign in the metropolitan area we call home. After taking a picture of the “B,” it ended up back on the sign. 

And now, with further adieu, here’s your weekly supply of really bad jokes, as found on bestlifeonline.com (if the jokes are not funny, don’t blame me, blame them):

Thursday: Somebody stole all my lamps….and I couldn’t be more de-lighted!

Friday: The quickest way to make antifreeze? Just steal her blanket!

Saturday: Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie!

Sunday: Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar…You can’t tell me that’s just a coincidence!

Monday: What did the mayonnaise say when somebody opened the refrigerator? “Hey, close the door! I’m dressing!”

Tuesday: Time flies like an arrow... Fruit flies like a banana!

Wednesday: How do you make a good egg roll? You push it down a hill!

Stay safe. And maybe have a little bit of chocolate, too.

(*The quote was discovered during intense research on the internet last weekend.)

The Gazette-Democrat

112 Lafayette St.
Anna, Illinois 62906
Office Number: (618) 833-2158
Email: news@annanews.com

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